Many moons ago, high on a mountain in northern California, during a retreat for healing, I created an experiment. I decided I was going to do something I had never done before, just to see if I could do it.

I wanted to be seen.

I chose a man from the workshop, and, without speaking, guided him outside next to a pool. We sat on the floor, legs crossed, hands in each other’s, and I started the experiment. It was, at that time the most difficult thing I had ever done.

I wanted to be seen.

For the next hour, we sat in silence. I did not know this man, nor did he know me. But there, we sat. My goal, my desire, was simply to gaze into his eyes and for him to gaze into mine.

Sounds easy right?

It was the most challenging thing I had ever done. In that hour, a flood of thoughts, memories, and experiences passed through my head. I thought about what he was thinking. I thought about what I was thinking. I thought about what he thought I was thinking.

I experienced shame. I experienced fear. I experienced joy and happiness. I experienced sorrow.

In that one moment, I realized, for me — this is what intimacy was. To be fully present. To be fully authentic. To surrender. To allow. To be one with another. To be one with the Universe.

Every time I watch this video, I am reminded of what I seek to dive into, as much as I can, while I am in this life, in this mind, in this body.

THIS, to me, is what living is about.

To learn more about this experience, visit the artist’s website, MAI.

Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash